Advice for working mothers: managing stress

Working mothers are subject to stresses from every facet of their lives. They deal with home and family issues as well as job stress on a daily basis. So, what can a working mom do to manage this stress load?

1. Prioritize

At home and at work, perform triage on your life. What things are critical and must be handled quickly and only by you? Do your critical and complex tasks first, leaving the mundane and boring for later; those trivial tasks are easier to do when you are tired or can be delegated to others later.

2. Identify your stresses

Everyone has tasks they enjoy and others that cause them stress or distress. The amount of stress a task causes is not always directly proportional to the difficulty of the task or the time the task actually takes. So, for someone cleaning a toilet may be more stressful than planning a week’s menus and grocery shopping. Identify your most stress-provoking tasks and work to remove them from your life or minimize their impact on you. Maybe a particular combination of events or tasks causes dissonance for you; work to deal with those issues one at a time. For example, get as many routine tasks out of the way as possible before handling a special event that needs extra attention.

3. Let some things slide

Once you’ve prioritized your life you will see that some things routinely fall to the bottom of the list. Ask yourself whether those things really even need to get done. Is it critical that you take homemade cookies to back-to-school night or would bakery bought offerings be just fine? Will anyone really care if you only dust on top of your refrigerator twice a year instead of twice a month? Carefully evaluate the time consuming tasks in your life and determine which you can do less frequently or not at all.

4. Make time for yourself

Yes, it sounds easier than it actually is, but this may be the most important thing a working mother can do. Schedule time into your week for pursuits that are just for you. While you may enjoy your work and the time you spend with your partner, it is important to do some things just because they feel good for you. This may be as simple as reading a book, taking a bubble bath or meeting a friend for dinner or may be a regular endeavor like taking a class or pursuing a hobby with a local club. Whatever you enjoy, make sure you carve out regular time to spend on yourself.

5. Exercise

Physical health has an immediate and clear impact on mental health. Exercise improves your physical health dramatically, provides you with greater energy and increases your longevity so you will be around for your kids and grandkids as long as possible.

6. Delegate

The mythical Super Mom may be able to do everything herself but most working women need help. Delegate tasks at home to your partner, to your kids and to hired help. In your job, delegate to your associates and team members.

7. Share

Talk to your friends and family about your stresses. For many women, simply talking to a sympathetic ear about their stress will alleviate much of it. Empathy is a salve on the busiest schedule and the most horrific day. Your support network will help you get through the worst situations.

8. Get enough sleep

When schedules are crazy, sleep is often the first thing to go. But, a good night’s sleep can make you more productive and prepare you to deal with difficult situations, so it is important to consistently carve out ample time to sleep.

9. Respond to the stress

Stress is inevitable, but the way you respond to stress is largely up to you. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing, meditation and yoga to help yourself stay calm and handle difficult situations. Get massages to keep your muscles relaxed; eat fresh healthy foods to keep your physical body in optimum condition. The best way to fight the stress is to be in ideal shape, mentally and physically.

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Changing Lanes: Managing Hearth & Career

Work, bonded Labour

At the outset of my career, there was one definitive feeling that I experienced the most, that of spending a large part of my life within the four walls of my office! I mean I had hardly got out of the organization that the day ended and I was to report once again after a tired, disturbed cycle of sleep! It almost felt that I was married to my desk, clattering away endless hours of work. Work, that seemed less as a form of worship and that more related to pure, unadulterated torture! I think now that at the beginning of each one’s career, all of us feel the same.

Marriage changed this completely

While getting married is a wonderful thing and every earthly soul who seeks to lead a normal life should get married, I also think that you need to give a really good thought in case you need to pursue it after marriage as well! For a lazy nut like me, marriage and the life after marriage within the office constraints made hell break lose! For a moment I thought I was over playing my game of tennis! (Or was that Badminton!)

Every moment, I was either dabbling with whoever served me first at the office canteen, or at home amidst the routine, (read as mundane and monotonous) household chores! I think every woman needs to first examine her life, go deep into introspection within herself and then take the plunge! Though many of us learn on the job and many of us are made to learn the hard way, although it may seem as an initial task to accomplish, it sure isn’t an easy way to manage both hearth and home!

My advise to all women out there is that if you’ve got courage (and I tell you, you need loads of it!) and the conviction to carry it through, you can manage both fronts and with great amount of efficacy. It’s more like learning MS Word, if you’ve mastered the basics, you can find your own short cuts in following through the course. Although there are certain natural calamities that also form a part of your way to success, the important task to remember is that you will succeed! Besides, another important and useful tip is to meditate.

How would that help, you ask? Well meditation does two things. One since you are into meditating you need to bear in mind the time when you do and stick to it for best results. And two, meditation relaxes you, makes your mind more fertile to feed in new data for additional planning of living life to the maximum.

Moreover, if you can manage the work front, you already know the method to control your emotions. And if a woman is known, as the one who is not ruled by her emotions, then you are the ‘girl in control’! Way to go ladies!!

By Prerna Salla

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Managing Age, Currency, and Impression When You're a Mature Worker

by Jean Baur

Among the common myths I hear over and over in my work as a career counselor is "I can't get a job anywhere because I am too old."

If you're a baby boomer like me, you were raised to believe that the worst thing you could say is those two terrible words: "I can't." So when I hear these phrases from my clients (who have been downsized after very successful careers), I tell them the story of my client -- we'll call him "Bill" -- who groaned.

Bill comes into my office, stunned, unable to believe that after 24 years at a leading pharmaceutical firm, he's been let go. We go through the initial process: I explain the details of his outplacement services, as he tells me about his work and how he was notified that he was no longer needed. We talk a bit about his goals -- what he would like to do -- and then I go over the materials that he'll need to support his search.

As Bill and I get to know each other, and get his resume completed, I discover that he, like me, loves tennis. He's been playing longer than I have, and we interrupt our discussions about recruiters or Internet postings with updates on our latest games. I'm thinking to myself that it's really good that he's active as that will help him in the interview process. And the physical and mental challenges of tennis will keep him sharp.

Bill is worried about interviewing since he hasn't done it in more than a quarter century, and he's not sure how he'll be perceived. Under this concern I sense the age issue and ask him directly if he's worried about age discrimination. He says that he is but that he really wants to continue working. As he puts it: "I'm way too young to sit at home."

I never ask my clients their age, but Bill tells me that he's 65 and would like to work for at least five more years. So we begin drilling the answers to typical interview questions, and I make sure that his answers are clear, concise, and include a selling point or result when possible. He gets pretty good at responding, and I'm beginning to feel that he may do all right.

Then one day as Bill joins me at the small, round table in my office, I notice that he groans as he sits down.

"Hey," I say to him, "what was that?"

"What was what?"

"You groaned."

He bursts out laughing. "Oh, I played an extra set of tennis last night and can barely move."

"Up you go," I tell him. "Come back into the office and sit down without groaning."

"What?"

"You heard me."

He sees by my face that I'm serious, so he humors me and gets up and sits down again in the chair, this time with no creaks or moans. I thank him, and then we talk about the power of first impressions and that we "mature" workers (as I like to call myself), have to be especially careful to come across as energetic, up-to-date and motivated. Maybe a 25-year-old can slump in the chair, but not someone over 50.

Bill gets this concept and never groans again. He sits up straight and leans slightly forward -- a great way to show interest and motivation. Before long he is interviewing, and his strategy is to take any interview anywhere although he really doesn't plan to relocate. So one week he's out on the West Coast interviewing with a new biotech firm, and the next he's in New England meeting with a well-known pharmaceutical company, and with practice, his interviewing improves.

He and I go over the questions he was asked, any areas that gave him trouble, and soon he has an offer from a local company. We celebrate this great news and are both relieved that for now his search is over. He does well with this company, but a year later, has a better offer from another company and decides to take that. As far as I know he's still there, happily working.

When you look carefully at age, especially as it relates to looking for a job, I believe three basic issues arise. The first is your chronological age, which you can't do much about. The second is how current you are in your field, and the third is the overall impression you make. Let's look at the second and third issues to see what you can do if you're a mature worker in job search.

To ensure you're current in your field, network with people in your industry and attend professional meetings so that you're aware of new trends, new technology, etc. Through unemployment benefits (Department of Labor), you may be able to get a grant or tuition waiver so that you can get additional training if you need it. (This benefit varies state by state. In New York State, for example, you'd go to Unemployment Insurance Benefits Online and then click on either "Career Service Locations" or "Workforce Professional Tools" to get the contact information for the nearest One-Stop Career Center). You can also find One-Stop Career Centers and other workforce services. Or speak to your local unemployment counselor. Another way to find out what training you may need would be to shadow someone for a day so that you learn the critical issues of a new function or industry.

The third issue, the impression you make, is exactly what Bill and I were working on together. We create an image of a person in a fantastically short amount of time -- probably 3-5 seconds. So your posture, gesture, voice, and facial expression all contribute to that initial snapshot. Of course what you wear and your overall grooming are part of this picture, so I tell my clients to ask someone they trust to give them feedback on their hairstyle, clothes, and other aspects of appearance. It's important to look up-to-date and age appropriate. So if you're a 50-year-old woman, and are wearing your teenaged daughter's clothes, you may appear uncomfortable about your age.

Interviewing is a dance -- an exchange of impressions and information -- and our function as job-seekers is to do everything we can to show that we fit in and can help solve the problems facing the company. It's also important to remember that no one bats 1,000 and that rejection (and ideally learning) is part of the process.

So don't start off by telling yourself that you'll never get hired again, don't groan when you sit down, and fasten your seatbelt as this is an unpredictable process. And use tennis or volunteering or baking a cake for a neighbor as ways to keep yourself motivated and balanced while you implement your search, remembering that you're working toward an important goal: the adventure and satisfaction of a new job.

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How to Manage Your Career Like a Business

Look upon yourself as a company with a product or service to sell. Understand your market and devise a marketing campaign, remembering that companies hire employees who offer them the best results and the best value for money.

Begin by identifying your skills, qualifications, and accomplishments. Adopt a customer-focussed approach. What benefits and results can you offer employers? Are your skills marketable and up-to-date?

Employers are in the market for team-players and problem-solvers. They want to see evidence in your CV or resume of specific, quantifiable accomplishments.

Determine what additional skills you need to develop to make yourself more marketable. Take advantage of all opportunities for continuous learning and

professional development.

Successful businesses win customers by developing a unique

selling proposition. To give yourself a competitive advantage,

analyse what other employees in your field are offering.

It is not enough to emulate them; you must strive to differentiate yourself by offering something extra, something unique.

Try to assess yourself as objectively as possible in order

to identify your marketable features. Analyse your performance appraisals and, if possible, enlist the help of a trusted friend or colleague to help you evaluate yourself.

Define and prioritise your short-term and long-term career goals.

Study recruitment websites and the appointments pages of newspapers to familiarise yourself with the current requirements of employers.

Your CV/resume should be fine-tuned regularly and kept up-to-date to enable you to make a swift and targeted response to any suitable job opportunity that arises.

Learn all you can about job search strategies, job-specific resumes, and professional interview techniques.

By adopting a planned and proactive approach, you will maximise your chances of landing the job that best fits your skills and personality, and increase the likelihood of achieving your long-term career goals.

From 'Four Minutes to Job Interview Success' published by Assignments Plus Business Publications http://www.assignmentsplus.com

By Buzzle Staff and Agencies

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Common Misconceptions About Career Management

You get your clothes cleaned when they’re dirty. You pay your bills each month. You see your doctor once or twice a year. You send cards to family-members at each birthday. So, why is it that most people (maybe even you!) don’t integrate career management into their regular routine?

Most individuals have a reactive – not a "proactive" – approach to their careers. Thinking that you only need to "fix your career when it’s broken" (i.e., when you’re laid off, downsized or just plain miserable) is a very unfortunate misconception that will seriously limit your career success!

Here are 10 other common misconceptions about career management:

1. The most qualified candidate gets the job offer.

WRONG! Many times candidates with lesser qualifications get job offers simply because they’ve prepared and presented themselves in a more compelling way. In other words, they’re better self-marketers! Being "qualified" is not enough. You must CONVINCE the employer that you're the best candidate for the job.

2. As long as I have a job, I don’t have to work on my career.

WRONG! Even if you’re employed today, you never know what may happen tomorrow! To avoid a career disaster, you should incorporate "Perpetual Career Management" into your professional life. Vital tasks like keeping your Accomplishment Stories up to date, or networking regularly with professionals in your industry, should be incorporated into your regular routine.

3. My professional education stopped when I graduated from school.

WRONG! You should always look for ways to advance your professional knowledge. Attending seminars, reading trade journals, pursuing certifications, etc. – these activities should be a part of your ongoing professional development process. It’s imperative that every professional remain current in his or her field.

4. Employers always offer the most generous compensation they can afford.

WRONG! Employers expect that you’ve done salary research, and they anticipate dynamic negotiations. In fact, they’ll often be disappointed and question your candidacy if you DON'T negotiate. Employers usually state a low salary offer merely as a "trial balloon," to see how you’ll react – and there’s almost always room to improve on the initial compensation offer.

5. If I just do a good job, my position will be secure.

WRONG! With corporate mergers, downsizings, outsourcing and a shaky economy, NO job is secure. You must take full responsibility for your own career security.

6. My résumé is the only document I need to search for a job.

WRONG! Your résumé is just one of the 10 "tools" you need in your "Job Seeker’s Tool Kit." In order to land a quality position in today’s market, you’ll also need Accomplishment Stories, Positioning and Exit Statements, a Professional Biography, a Target Company List, and many other vital components.

7. Recruiters will find me a job, so I don't have to search for jobs myself.

WRONG! Although recruiters can be helpful, the most successful way to find a new opportunity in today’s job market is through networking. It’s fine to use Executive Search Firms, but they’re just one vehicle for you to leverage. Only YOU can find you a new job.

8. Employers are responsible for managing my career path.

WRONG! This statement might have been true in our father’s or grandfather’s time. But now, it’s "every man for himself." Only YOU have the power to take control of your career and manage it for success. So, make the most of it! Get support and guidance from a qualified Career Consultant if you feel that this would be helpful.

9. Networking is only for entrepreneurs and jobseekers – I don’t need to network now.

WRONG! It’s a smart career move to ALWAYS be networking, no matter what’s going in your professional life. If you don’t need help at this time, build-up your networking power by helping others. Consistent, effective networking will always pay big dividends! It’s just a natural part of ongoing career management.

10. Most good jobs are listed on Internet job sites and in newspapers, so they’re easy to identify.

WRONG! Only one percent of job postings that are on the Web or in newspapers are any good! And that’s where you'll be competing against 99% of all the other job seekers! Since these odds are not in your favor, you should spend VERY LITTLE time on this search technique – and instead, focus almost all of your time and energy on networking!

Now that you’re familiar with these deadly career misconceptions, you can easily reverse them to have a very positive impact on your career. The first step is to change your thinking, and then to practice productive new behaviors in a consistent manner!

Copyright © 2006, Ford R. Myers and Career Potential, LLC.

About the author:

Ford R. Myers, career expert and author, is creator of The Ultimate Career Guide. Visit http://www.ultimatecareerguide.com to get this comprehensive career success system. FREE bonus gift (worth $49.00) included with every order!

By Ford Myers

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Managing the Challenging Boss

A challenging boss is a boss who does not understand the emotional needs of his or her employees. Challenging bosses also lack skill and tact when addressing their employees' emotions; thus, they end up creating additional problems on top of not understanding their employees' emotions. As a result, of not understanding their employees' emotional needs, these bosses are not able to appropriately distribute work assignments equally, do not treat all employees fairly, and are unable to separate their personal life from their work life.

Other characteristics of a challenging boss include:

* A boss who favors certain employees and grants them special privileges.

* A boss who is not able to regulate an employee's workload.

* A boss who continuously develops new policies or procedures for employees to follow.

* A boss who is not able to regulate his or her own emotions when dealing with employees.

* A boss who rewards employees for liking him/her versus their work performance.

Challenging bosses used to be called jerks! Today we refer to these bosses as having low emotional intelligence (EI), which is the inability to read and best utilize the emotions of other people, i.e., employees. In other words, low EI bosses are unable to understand their employee's emotions, and the damage that they create because they have no understanding of social dynamics involved in an office environment.

So when you are pulling your hair out because you get reprimanded for being late to work once, and your coworker leaves work early and takes long lunches because he or she is your boss's favorite employee; instead of calling your boss a jerk and holding your breath until he/she changes-first try taking a more effective approach.

Bosses who have low EI require employees who are able to set boundaries, set limits, and provide them with direction and structure. In other words, you need to manage your work and your boss.

1.) Set Boundaries: A boss with low EI usually does not understand where the boundaries of other people start and end. Therefore, employees need to politely inform their boss where their boundaries are in terms of space, language, and authority.

2.) Set Limits: A boss with low EI usually does not understand how his/her behavior impacts other people. Therefore, employees need to politely point out, e.g., that new projects need to come at the beginning of the day and not when you are walking out the door to go home.

3.) Set Direction & Structure: A boss with low EI requires direction and structure. If your performance review is already a month late, instead of getting angry, offer to help your boss by writing the performance review yourself, offer to help him/her to complete it at the time of the review, and set an appoint time to complete it.

You can stomp up and down and hold your breath all day long, if you want, but your low EI boss will not change until you start to act proactively instead of reactively.

Happy Working,

Gary Vikesland, MA LP CEAP

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Strategies for Managing Everyday Conflict

 

Written by Dianne Schilling

We live daily with the unsettling possibility of conflict. We enter into conflicts reluctantly, cautiously, angrily, nervously, confidently—and emerge from them battered, exhausted, sad, satisfied, triumphant. And still many of us underestimate or overlook the merits of conflict—the opportunity conflict offers every time it occurs. So I'm starting this discussion with two premises. First, conflict is normal. We may not like it, but it's part of life, and that's not going to change. Second, conflict isn't necessarily something to be avoided. In fact, it can prove highly productive. Conflict signals the presence of diverse points of view, which in struggle or reconciliation can spark creativity, nourish growth, jump-start productivity, and strengthen relationships. A life without conflict is probably less peaceful than bland. Most of us experience abundant opportunities for conflict. From the breakfast table to the bedroom, from the water cooler to the conference room, a hundred little things each day can lead to discord—and for a variety of reasons, most of which are natural and unavoidable. Habits and Beliefs We bring to our relationships an accumulation of everything we've ever learned —all of our habits, and all the opinions and beliefs we've developed about ourselves, other people, politics, religion, lifestyle, acceptable behavior, and the "right" way to do everything from dress ourselves in the morning to shape the psyches of our children for life. All this diversity, including racial, cultural and gender differences, means we're going to nudge, bump and crash into each other occasionally. Limited Resources, Turf Wars and Change If there's one cookie and two kids want it, if funds are finite and programs to deplete them abound, if there's only one promotion and three people think they've earned it—conflict! Ditto for violating each other's property, possessions, reputation or space. And when someone says we have to change, or starts making changes around us without our consent, we respond with everything from passive aggression to open resistance. Reacting to Conflict Most of us have conflict "styles"—one or two favorite ways of reacting in conflict situations. Or we may react differently to different people -- for example, acquiescing to our boss, withdrawing from our mate, reasoning with our child, and engaging in subterfuge against an office rival. For the most part, styles are conditioned responses, not conscious choices. They're learned early in life and reinforced every time they pay off by getting us off the hook, evoking sympathy, or according a sense of control. The point is, with a style we don't usually think to ourselves, "Okay, now I'm going to blow my stack to get attention and establish myself as a force to deal with in this conflict." We just react. When Style Becomes Strategy (and Vice-versa) A strategy is a behavior (or series of behaviors) that is consciously chosen. Unlike a style (a rote reaction), a strategy has purpose. The very same behavior—for example, avoiding—can be either a strategy or a style, depending on whether we avoid because it's the best thing to do at the time or because avoiding is what we always do. When used unconsciously, even the most sophisticated conflict behaviors forfeit their status as strategies. When dealing with an emotionally charged situation, an effective conflict manager will attempt to gain control of the situation so it can be dealt with rationally and objectively. Depending on the nature of the conflict, the stage the conflict is in, and whether the objective is to escalate, de-escalate, or idle the conflict, different strategies have varying degrees of utility. Selecting the most effective strategy is the science of conflict management; applying it skillfully is the art. Getting Good at Conflict When selecting a conflict strategy, keep in mind that your partner in conflict may also be acting strategically. As early as possible in a conflict, try to discern whether the other person is in control of his behavior and has some flexibility in the way he responds, or is merely reacting the way he always does in conflict situations. If he's yelling or threatening or putting you off because that's his style and he's stuck there, you may have to work a lot harder to reach a productive resolution but you will also have the advantage. If, on the other hand, you are dealing with a skillful partner, prepare to both lead and follow in what may be a very creative dance. When your partner avoids you or tries to dominate the situation, for example, try to figure out what he hopes to gain and how he thinks you'll react. careers, Jobs Indonesia, Indonesia Vacancy