Advice for working mothers: managing stress

Working mothers are subject to stresses from every facet of their lives. They deal with home and family issues as well as job stress on a daily basis. So, what can a working mom do to manage this stress load?

1. Prioritize

At home and at work, perform triage on your life. What things are critical and must be handled quickly and only by you? Do your critical and complex tasks first, leaving the mundane and boring for later; those trivial tasks are easier to do when you are tired or can be delegated to others later.

2. Identify your stresses

Everyone has tasks they enjoy and others that cause them stress or distress. The amount of stress a task causes is not always directly proportional to the difficulty of the task or the time the task actually takes. So, for someone cleaning a toilet may be more stressful than planning a week’s menus and grocery shopping. Identify your most stress-provoking tasks and work to remove them from your life or minimize their impact on you. Maybe a particular combination of events or tasks causes dissonance for you; work to deal with those issues one at a time. For example, get as many routine tasks out of the way as possible before handling a special event that needs extra attention.

3. Let some things slide

Once you’ve prioritized your life you will see that some things routinely fall to the bottom of the list. Ask yourself whether those things really even need to get done. Is it critical that you take homemade cookies to back-to-school night or would bakery bought offerings be just fine? Will anyone really care if you only dust on top of your refrigerator twice a year instead of twice a month? Carefully evaluate the time consuming tasks in your life and determine which you can do less frequently or not at all.

4. Make time for yourself

Yes, it sounds easier than it actually is, but this may be the most important thing a working mother can do. Schedule time into your week for pursuits that are just for you. While you may enjoy your work and the time you spend with your partner, it is important to do some things just because they feel good for you. This may be as simple as reading a book, taking a bubble bath or meeting a friend for dinner or may be a regular endeavor like taking a class or pursuing a hobby with a local club. Whatever you enjoy, make sure you carve out regular time to spend on yourself.

5. Exercise

Physical health has an immediate and clear impact on mental health. Exercise improves your physical health dramatically, provides you with greater energy and increases your longevity so you will be around for your kids and grandkids as long as possible.

6. Delegate

The mythical Super Mom may be able to do everything herself but most working women need help. Delegate tasks at home to your partner, to your kids and to hired help. In your job, delegate to your associates and team members.

7. Share

Talk to your friends and family about your stresses. For many women, simply talking to a sympathetic ear about their stress will alleviate much of it. Empathy is a salve on the busiest schedule and the most horrific day. Your support network will help you get through the worst situations.

8. Get enough sleep

When schedules are crazy, sleep is often the first thing to go. But, a good night’s sleep can make you more productive and prepare you to deal with difficult situations, so it is important to consistently carve out ample time to sleep.

9. Respond to the stress

Stress is inevitable, but the way you respond to stress is largely up to you. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing, meditation and yoga to help yourself stay calm and handle difficult situations. Get massages to keep your muscles relaxed; eat fresh healthy foods to keep your physical body in optimum condition. The best way to fight the stress is to be in ideal shape, mentally and physically.

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Reducing stress in the workplace

There isn’t a person alive who does not suffer from stress. Some people don’t even know they are suffering from stress because they don’t take the time to notice how they are feeling. Such people often feel overwhelmed, burned out, or stressed out much of the time, no matter whether they are at work or at home. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Only you can control how you feel, but you can’t do that unless you are aware of how you feel. Once you become aware, you can choose how to react to whatever is happening around you. But the key is that you have to be aware of what is going on in your body. This guide will help you learn to take a few moments out of your day and check in with yourself so you can go through your workday as smoothly and stress-free as possible.

1. Take a few moments in the morning to be silent, gaze out the window, take a slow walk, or meditate. Orient yourself to being awake and notice how that feels. It will help if you can start out your day with a feeling of inner peace.

2. Take a few minutes to do nothing but breathe while your car is warming up. Check in and see how you are feeling right now, knowing you are on your way to work.

3. Become aware of any tension within your body as you are driving to work. Consciously work at releasing that tension. Notice the difference in what it feels like to drive while tense and while relaxed.

4. Decide not to play the radio and just be with yourself instead.

5. Stay in the right lane and do not go above the speed limit. Do not succumb to societal pressure to rush everywhere. It’s ok to get where you are going in your own time.

6. Pay attention to your breathing when stopped at a red light. Don’t wait impatiently for the light to change to green—just sit.

7. Take a moment to orient yourself to your workday after you park your car. Allow yourself to transition from home mode to work mode.

8. When you are sitting at your desk, periodically monitor your body tensions. Consciously attempt to relax and let go of any excess tension you may have.

9. Use your breaks to truly relax, rather than grab a quick snack or smoke. Take a short walk or meditate.

10. Change your environment at lunch. Perhaps eat outside in nice weather. Or find somewhere quiet where you can talk to co-workers or eat alone.

11. Try closing your door if you have one for a few minutes for a time-out. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone or anything else.

12. Stop working for a few minutes every hour or so in order to become aware of your breathing and bodily sensations. Take time to get back in touch with your feelings.

13. Use everyday cues from your work environment, such as the phone ringing or the time on your computer terminal, as reminders to stop and take a moment to breathe.

14. Take time during your lunch break to talk with your coworkers about non-work-related topics.

15. Choose to one or two lunches in silence each week. Eat slowly and mindfully.

16. At the end of the day, make up a “Got Done” list and congratulate yourself on all you accomplished.

17. Pay attention to the walk to your car—how does the air feel? Is it cold or hot out? If it isn’t to your liking, try to accept it rather than resisting.

18. While the car is warming up, consciously transition yourself from work to home. Just sit and enjoy the moment.

19. While driving home, notice if you are rushing. How does that feel? What can you do to change it? Remember, only you can control how you feel.

20. When you park your car at home, take a minute to come back to the present. Orient yourself to being at home again.

21. Change out of your work clothes as soon as you can. It helps you make a smooth transition from work mode to home mode. Then, if possible, take 5-10 minutes to be alone and check in with yourtself.

Stress can kill, but you don’t have to be a victim if you make a conscious choice to focus on your feelings and choose what to do with those feelings. You don’t have to react to stress; you can choose how to respond to it.

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De-stressing at work!

Here are some of the important de-stress mechanisms that can help you bounce back to your health!

* To begin with take a few deep breaths, allowing your rib cage and belly to expand as you inhale.

* Exhale slowly.

* Seek a change in venue.

* Getting away from your work station, even for a walk to the water cooler, can help you collect your thoughts and refocus on the task at hand.

* Laugh! Read one of your favorite jokes or simply laugh aloud.

* Play with a stress-relieving toy or game like a mini-basketball hoop, dart board, foam stress ball or punching bag.

* Close your eyes and listen to soothing music.

* Visualize yourself relaxing at your favorite vacation spot or completing the big presentation with ease.

* Add helpful reminders to your screen saver, such as, "Take a deep breath," or add a phrase or joke that makes you laugh.

Watch out!

* Use good judgment and know what is appropriate for your workplace.

* Work Efficiently

* Keep your desk and your files organized to avoid wasting time shuffling through piles of paper.

* Go through your inbox at the beginning of each work day. Either throw away, file or follow up on each item.

* Prioritize a list of the tasks you need to accomplish that day.

* Delegate tasks to co-workers and assistants if possible.

* Finish one task before you go on to the next.

* Have someone else answer your phone if possible. Give instructions about calls you wish to take and those that can be returned later.

* Communicate effectively and plan carefully to make sure a job is done properly the first time around.

* Schedule time when you'll be available, and let colleagues know, to avoid constant interruptions.

* Close the door if you need to.

* Take breaks. A short walk or quick lunch away from the office will increase your overall productivity.

* Before leaving for the day, tidy up your desk and make a short list of projects you will need to do the next day.

* Try not to take work home. You need the break.

* Determine when you have most energy in a day and tackle the most important or most difficult tasks at that time.

* Recognize that certain days (usually Monday or Friday) are more hectic than others. Be realistic when scheduling those days.

* Exercise and a healthy diet boost your energy level and increase your productivity.

* If you get completely snowed under, hire an assistant from a temp agency to get you through the crunch.

By Prerna Salla

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